Monday, November 8, 2010

Reflections of Cara

The following post is a little long. It's just about things I'm learning. Feel free to read it, comment or don't read.

 Every Monday morning I'll usually get on the computer and watch some Mormon Messages videos. (Mormon messages) And every Monday morning I feel the Spirit. It seems that it tells me every time how much work there is to do. Not only in the world, but in my life. How do I get to be like these people, who have committed all that they are to this gospel? I have made that covenant with my Father in Heaven, to give everything I have to the building up of this gospel, His kingdom. But unfortunately, something happens during my day. It becomes more of "get everything done around the house that needs to be done, and then I can have some free time. Time to relax, read, watch a show or do whatever." Lately I keep remembering this quote about how life is not about being entertained. How many times in a day do I inadvertently make my time about that: entertaining myself? How do I change that? I live in Rexburg, Idaho. It is almost all Mormons. We are a small family with not much extra income. Those are my excuses. I just life somewhere and am in such a situation that I can't do much here, but whenever we move...that's when I can really do some good. Why? Tad reminds me that I am a mother and I am doing more than I think or can see, but I think there is more. A young 14-year old boy has raised almost $150,000 for orphans in Honduras in just a few years. (Sharing the Light of Christ) A 14-year old boy! I want my girls to be like that 14-year old boy. How will they learn that if I don't teach them that? How can I teach them that if I don't act that way myself? There is work enough to do.
 Lately, I have felt a sense that Satan is trying so much harder. Why? Because we are at that point in the world where if you have not defined who you are, what you are trying to do, who's side you are on. If you don't choose a side, then you are most definitely on Satan's. The Savior was not a person of inaction. He taught us to act, to be doers. My knowledge of faith and being a doer have changed lately. Being a doer is more that just doing things. It doing good things, things that matter and things that change you for the better. Faith is not just praying, wishing, hoping. It's being consumed with the idea. If you have faith that the scriptures are true, you don't just read and are done. You feast, take it all in, your mind cannot stop thinking about it. When all your thoughts are focused on one thing, it affects your actions. That is what makes faith because it is an action word. You do things. You become a doer. I know these things because the Spirit has taught them to me, slowly, line upon line, precept upon precept. I didn't always know this. I have learned it because I needed to and I wanted to. I received a blessing a little while ago, and I don't remember much, but I do remember hearing, "Your Father in Heaven is waiting to see your faith." I thought I had faith, that I was showing my faith already, that I had shown it in my life plenty of times. I can feel this tug-of-war. I have learned so many things in my pre-mortal life that the Spirit is trying to help me remember. At the same time, Satan is telling me, "You're fine. You are a good person. Just don't worry about anything. You'll be fine. No need to worry yourself. Just stay where you're at and you won't go down." What he's not saying is that I won't go anywhere. What is the point if I don't learn anything? If I don't push myself to be something and do something more? If you aren't progressing, are you not digressing? It seems logical.
 I'm watching the snow fall outside and the snowflakes have gotten a little smaller than they were about five minutes ago. Afton said, "Oh no! We need to fix it!" As if all you had to do was turn up the dial on the snow making machine up in the sky. Then I started thinking, in a second a snowflake will melt. If it gets any warmer than freezing point, just one degree, it will start to melt. If my testimony, my knowledge of this gospel is not cultivated, it starts melting away. It may not seem noticeable with a huge pile of snow if one snowflake at a time melts. But it will so surprising when the last few snowflakes are melting, and I have no defenses left. Like I said, there is so much work to do.
 If you are working on anything or know of anyone who might need help with anything, let me know!


celestethebest said...

Wow- thanks so much for this post Cara! This was exactly the feeling I got from Conference of what I need to change- doing things for good instead of just doing things. Using my spare time on others instead of on myself. I was determined to do better after conference but I have slacked. Thanks for the motivation! Let me know if you figure out how to get motivated or good service projects.

Katie said...

Cara, You are such an amazing woman. I wish I could just spend every day with you. Your post really touched me. We had stake conference this weekend and what I got from the conference was that we need to listen to the whisperings of the spirit to help the Lords children. I feel such an urgency to do something and I have no idea what it is. I know I can ask but I am afraid. Can I do all that work that will be asked of me? How disappointed will I be in myself if I dont ask though? Anyways thanks for your post. I understand what you are feeling. I feel the exact same way. Maybe we could work on it together, go around the world helping people in need =) I love you guys. Wish I could see you more often!